So the recent DVD release by Magnolia included faulty English subtitles. Unfortunately, those who missed the theatrical release would not notice that the dialogue was dumbed down and stripped of all character for the DVD. Gone was the dark humor and distinctive voices of each character. Some examples of the difference can be seen here.

But there’s a happy ending after all. In response to the blogic outcry, Magnolia films is now manufacturing DVDs with the original (theatrical) subtitles intact. To see which version you are holding, look on the back of the case. The new discs will actually say that the subtitles are the “theatrical” version.

Chris Barber

“Impressionism“, a new play on Broadway starring Jeremy Irons and Joan Allen, is a grand evening in the theater for fans of good acting. The play could itself use some work. And the art handling, is, well, amateur at best. Not that anyone would notice but a pro. Still, if you (attention playwright and director) are going to include a scene that has a supposedly high value artwork packed into a crate onstage by a supposedly professional art handling company, well, it should be done correctly.

In this case the art handlers wheel in an upright crate, take the painting off the wall (wearing gloves, thankfully), put it into a fabric bag (?) and then lower the painting-in-bag down into the crate through the open top, so that the painting disappears like your hard earned money down the slot in Vegas. Snap the top closed, get a signature, and off they go.

Problems? Well, they didn’t  inspect the painting before handing it, but that is a fine point. Unless there is a scratch on it and you are the insurer…The fabric bag is absolutely non standard, never seen one used like this ever. Fabric can catch on or stick to the face of a painting and deposit lint or other debris. Even if there is plexi over the face of a work, the fabric bag is still a bad choice as it is slippery and thus difficult to hold onto, and it can snag or tear on its journey into the crate.

Speaking of which, and this is the major point, artworks are not lowered into crates this way, for good reason: you can’t see what is happening to the piece! There could be loose materials or something shifted in the crate which would damage the artwork. A screw may have pushed through in transit or come loose in the crate. In most cases prepared crates are either laid flat or stood up, the front is removed, the crate inspected and made ready, the painting carefully fitted in under watchful eyes, and when all is safely braced the front of the crate is put on and off you go.

A somewhat more minor quibble, but in another scene Mr. Irons assists a purchaser, again of a major painting  ( $40,000) out to her offstage car with the artwork. No wrapping, she’s just going to presumably, what, toss it into the back of her SUV?

I am sure these faults will be corrected as legions of concerned art handlers line up outside the Gerald Schoenfeld Theater (236 West 45th Street, NY 10036) in protest. In the meantime I am available anytime Mr. Irons would like a private consultation.

 Betsy Dorfman