We encountered this old style pay-and-park machine opposite a gallery in, appropriately enough, Old Town Pasadena.

No tickets/receipts issued.

Just a uniformed man armed with a scanner who shows up once or twice a day in a car and opens the box to see if you’ve stuffed 5 x one dollar bills into the slot that matches the number on your parking bay.

The thingy on the length of braided picture wire is used for poking the folded dollar bills thru’ the slot.

Plus you have to fold each dollar bill three times along its length to make it narrow enough to pass through the slot entry.

Discover the difference indeed!  Hereafter to be knows as origami parking…

Michael Thomas

Betsy Dorfman

FINE ART SHIPPING is currently accepting applications for the position of Customer Service Representative. In addition to the normal palette of office and computer skills, the job requires the following more specialized abilities:

 ++ Estimate the packed dimensions of objects contained in email attachments that can’t be opened

++ Return urgent phone calls left by gallery assistants named Kristin who forget at the end of their message to leave their gallery name or phone number

++ Determine precise street addresses based on zip codes and the nearest Starbucks location

++ Overbook by mistake and then outperform on purpose, especially on Fridays

++ Accurately translate two dimensions into three

++ Determine the weights of large sculptures made in Brazil from exotic equatorial woods, including the pests contained therein

++ Increase the cubic volume capacity of our trucks at will, based on client demand

++ Create a spreadsheet for finding artist studios in unmarked buildings with no doorbells

++ Construct a “taxes and duties” computation game of chance

++ Explain our customers’ all risk fine arts insurance coverage in a tweet

++ Turn five-part carbonless paper bills of lading into chardonnay

If this sounds like your cup of tea please give me a call to schedule an appointment at my earliest convenience.

Betsy Dorfman

     Each year we send crew and managers out, sometimes at our own expense, sometimes charged to the client, to take a look at inventories to be moved and/or to assess various logistics issues at a given physical location. This “site visit” is required where very large collections are to be relocated or where the client, for whatever reason, is unable to provide an accurate or complete inventory. The site visit becomes necessary to produce the estimate, which then becomes the basis for accomplishing the required scope of work.

      There are two kinds of site visits: useful and useless. You should go on the useful ones, and avoid the useless ones. Trouble is, telling which is which in advance.

      Customer A is very insistent that someone come out and take a look at their “large inventory of major artworks” which they want to store or ship. Sounds juicy. Sure we will do a site visit, no charge, be right over.

      Customer B says we don’t need to come out in advance, they only have a couple of pieces, just send a truck and two guys on the day of the job, no problem, piece of cake, yawn.

      Which is the difficult job for which a site visit would have been hugely beneficial?

      Customer A turns out to have five or six perfectly ordinary oil on canvas paintings, not terribly large, a straightforward job to be deinstalled, wrapped, and removed by two art handlers in a relative trice.

      Customer B on the other hand has two very difficult sculptural works, delicate and top heavy, which really should have had frames built in advance of removal to provide proper support. Not to mention  some wacky “artist installed” logistics which have to be figured out and undone before the pieces can be removed from their respective perches. Oh, and the through the doorway clearances are very tight. Oh, and the house is on a hill with overhanding trees over the driveway so the sculptures have to be dollied down the driveway to a truck at the bottom.

      Where site visits aren’t done, peril often looms. Some examples from our experience:

      – the artist who has added to his creation in the studio without considering whether it will fit back out through the studio door. It won’t.

      — the “five or six” artworks which the caller described on the phone somehow morph into fifty or sixty upon our arrival.

      — the “perfectly friendly” dogs who nevertheless have to be shut away in advance to avoid our art handlers being bitten in the driveway (Two dog bites in 15 years…)

     – the gallerist who “forgets” to mention that the large sculpture or crate we are picking up for a third party is buried in the rear of the gallery’s storage area, where it has not been seen since 1957. The estimated one hour pickup/delivery turns into a multi-hour affair as our art handlers move everything else out of the way to access that piece.

      – the overhanging trees which make an accessible driveway into a “no truck” zone. We have paid reparations to more than one homeowner’s tree surgeon over the years. Often trees and landscaping have changed character since the owner moved in 15 years ago, so the fact that “the moving truck got in just fine” has past it’s fresh information expiry date. Better to go and measure.

     — and my personal favorite, the collector who had us pick up a painting from a gallery, only to find that the piece would not fit through any door in his residence. Whereupon he refused to pay anything, saying that as professionals we should be familiar with doorway sizes and we should have advised him not to buy the painting. This really happened.

      A successful site visit begins with the customer service person taking the phone call or answering the email asking the right questions. This means not accepting vagaries such as “large” or “heavy” or “small” or “easy access.” These are relative terms, and one person’s “pretty heavy but four guys could probably do it” is another person’s “get a crane.” You really need to know which job is which.

     For all the sleuthing in advance, there are always going to be useless site visits. Sometimes the visit was not strictly necessary from the scope of work point of view, but the manager bonds with the client and secures the job, turning useless into very useful indeed.

     When in doubt, as with most things in life, it is best to show up.

       Betsy Dorfman

 For Los Angeles drivers tired of having their visual space indentured to ads for lap bands, beer, Vegas hotels and grinning automobiles, here, finally, is a breath of fresh paint – actual art on billboards. Thanks to the MAK Center for Art and Architecture , 21 newly commissioned works by established artists will go up at locations around Los Angeles. More info, maps, and images of many of the works are on the exhibition website at http://www.howmanybillboards.org

Congratulations in particular to artists James Welling, Kerry Tribe, Daniel Joseph Martinez, and Alan Ruppersberg, whose works we have handled over the years for storage and/or for the Whitney Biennial. Nice to see them up in such a public format. At some 35,000 possible “visual impressions” a day, that’s a big audience whizzing by. Or crawling, depending. Each will be on display for only a month or two, so get your map and head on out. Probably best with a designated driver, leaving you free to crane and thrall and snapshot without causing undue risk to those actually trying to get somewhere.

Betsy Dorfman

 An art dealer friend recently disclosed that his trump card when closing deals with clients is to offer free shipping. More often than not, he said, this finalized the sale and allowed the buyer to depart feeling he or she had bargained well and struck a good deal. Further, this was true across the price spectrum of the art involved and no matter what the length of the negotiation process. It was free shipping or free local delivery & installation that sealed the bargain. This is not what a shipping company wants to hear. 

Compounding the horror, “free shipping” among online retailers has reached epidemic proportions and in fact has come to seem the norm. We feel shortchanged these days if we have to pay, or pay much, for shipping. It seems our birthright NOT to pay for shipping, not after we have just forked out for the thing/object/gadget itself. The giddy days of online sellers getting away with charging $8.99 to ship a $10 item seem lost in the quaint cyberpast.

So having promised the client the impossible, and feeling entitled to discounted shipping no matter what the commodity, the gallery or dealer then calls us seeking to send the artwork as cheaply as possible. We’ve been asked to put $30,000 artworks in cardboard boxes and ship them on UPS. Which, I hasten to add, we won’t do. It also explains why galleries often consign the job of arranging shipping to the lowest status employee who is newest on the job. Shipping is the last and least glamorous step in the dealer to customer transfer of title and custody. Basically, it’s a bore and a chore and, they would like us to think, it subtracts from rather than augments the bottom line. It’s the necessary evil mop up after the master has done his thing; hold your nose and dial the shipper.

But the truth is “free shipping” as anyone willing to reflect can probably deduce, is actually factored into the cost of the “thing” and so is not really free. We choose to perceive it as free because we want to feel like we are getting something for nothing, even when we know we aren’t. Art buyers, are you listening?

It would hardly be a sensible business model for art sellers to routinely “eat” shipping costs,. More likely they are factoring shipping into the cost and then, post sale, simply trying to maximize their profits by pressuring shippers to provide the most economical possible service. In this way everyone is happy except, well, me. I am stuck trying to persuade that new person at the gallery front desk that they really, really, really need to part with some actual money to protect their art in transit. That’s me, the bad guy spoiling everyone’s spoils.

Adding to the dilemma is the fact that the gallery typically wants the artwork off the premises and in the hands/on the wall of the customer as soon as possible before the glow of acquisition fades. So now we have a request for fast service, often a custom pickup at the gallery, plus expedited packing and shipping, plus custom delivery and installation all to be done on the cheap. Even after a couple of martinis, I can’t see a way to make that happen.

In a perfect world, everyone would recognize the service companies like ours provide and be willing to pay fair value for it. Santa, are you listening? In the meantime I continue my lonely battle against the tide of “free shipping” – with just a short time out this holiday season to transfer the items in my cart to the checkout window and collect my free 2-day shipping. Which they still call my “free 2 day shipping” even after charging my credit card $79 for yearly access to this privilege. Such a deal.

Betsy Dorfman

Like many small businesses, especially in these times, our margins are tight and it is difficult to make cash contributions to charities and other worthy cultural organizations. Happily, however, we are in a line of work – moving & storage — which enables us to provide in kind services to organizations at reduced rates or at no charge from time to time.

Since 2006, for example, FINE ART SHIPPING has supplied storage services at no cost for the Los Angeles Ballet. In addition to a prominent thank you in their programs, they have provided us with complimentary tickets, allowing many of our staff and their friends and families to experience the ballet and become fans. Talk about a “win-win”!

A bit closer to home, my daughter works for one of the Paul Newman charities, a camp called The Painted Turtle which serves children with serious diseases on a year round basis and at no cost to participating families. These are kids who otherwise would not be able to attend camp due to the nature of their illnesses. The Painted Turtle operates out of offices in Santa Monica, and maintains the camp in Lake Hughes CA., roughly 90 minutes northwest of Los Angeles. It is one of a network of affiliated camps around the world offering hope and fun to kids whose “out of camp” lives often consist of one medical challenge after another.

When one of our storage customers retired an array of costumes, wigs, hats, props & even a couple of fog machines from their inventory, we were able to donate these to The Painted Turtle and deliver them up to the camp in our truck at no charge. They were apparently used immediately in skits and sketches and were a great hit with kids and staff alike. Smiles all around! The website of The Painted Turtle shows a list of items the camp needs on a regular basis. Anyone wishing to make a donation can drop items off here at our facility near LAX airport and we will see that they get to the camp. (Please call first!)

On other occasions we are able to contribute to organizations by discounting costs on transport services.  Most recently we completed a shipment for Doctors Without Borders at a rate well below market value, essentially converting what would have been our normal markup into a contribution instead. This is a great way for small businesses to donate as it conserves cash but gives real value to the organization in question.

 Betsy Dorfman

Carole Choucair Oueijan, Layaleena, 48 x 72, smalti, 24 karat gold smalti, granite, marble, onyx, crystallino, mother of pearl, fresh-water pearl, hematite, coral, jade, quartz

I always crate artworks from the inside-out; at least in my bean, in the design stage. But the actual building can vary. Sometimes it can proceed in any order, and sometimes the crate must be built before the art is approached. It depends on whether the artwork is packaged in soft materials separate from the crate, or whether it must be built directly into the crate with a cushioned wood structure. When it’s the former, I occasionally prefer to pack the art before the crate is started. This is hardly necessary, but it can save a little desk time when dealing with a number of irregular shapes that aren’t so irregular that they require much planning ahead.

This was one of those jobs that fell into that little gray area. It just made more sense to figure out how large the package would be by packing it. The piece was composed of twenty-odd irregular sections of mosaic of variable thickness. It would happily ride flat in a stack of foam-welled trays. With such a simple packing approach, it was more efficient to sort the elements by relative size and shape in “real time,” as it was being loaded onto trays. I started with a rough guideline of 36″ x 24″ trays, and from that starting point my crater found that he could fit all elements onto 13 trays at 32″ x 24″. I’m starting to make it sound more complicated than it was. Before I knew it, the trays were packed and I had a nice boxy package to measure for the crate.

Our thanks to Carole Choucair Oueijan for her permission to include images of her artwork. Layaleena, an Arabic/Lebanese word for “Splendor Nights”, is a commission piece installed in a home in Greece. In this scene the goal was to reflect the magnificence of the Lebanese nights and lifestyle of the past. Layaleena is made out of 21 pieces and took 10 months to complete.

-Chris

When we advertise for art handlers there are inevitably calls and emails in response saying essentially: “I’m not exactly sure what an art handler is or does, but I know I would be super good at it!” Well, you might — most art handlers are trained on the job and people from all sorts of backgrounds have succeeded in the role. But it isn’t an easy job and it takes the right blend of skills and personality to make the cut.

In the next few posts we’ll take a look at art handlers and art handling; the more the public understands what we do and why and how, the better. And perhaps there are some future art handling superstars out there in cyberville waiting to be discovered!

So, for starters, what is an art handler?

An art handler typically works for an art services, transportation, or storage company and performs some or all of the following tasks:

• Drives a truck, either locally or long distance between cities
• Picks up and delivers a variety of artworks including paintings, sculptures, and mixed media works of all descriptions
• Inspects artworks to determine how, where, when, or if to touch them and how to pack for transport
• Understands how to properly wrap, load, span, tie in artworks within a truck to keep then safe and stable during transport
• Selects proper archival and other packing materials depending upon the medium, surfaces, condition and fragility of the works in question
• Packs and crates artworks of all descriptions
• Interacts positively with a typically educated, professional, and often opinionated customer base in the field
• Installs artworks professionally in settings ranging from corporate to residential, including selection of proper hardware and exercise of aesthetic judgment as needed
• Prepares condition reports and photographs artworks as needed
• Completes critical paperwork such as inventories and bills of lading with accuracy and attention to detail
• Has the “people” skills and situational awareness to work with a partner or larger crew in a seamless way, taking leadership and direction as needed to complete the task at hand
• Is familiar with basic art terminology and art history

Not all art handlers necessarily need to drive trucks, crate, or install artworks; in larger companies there are departments and an art handler may never be required to drive a large truck, make a crate or softpack paintings. But the wider the applicant’s skill set the more valuable he or she is potentially to any employer.

It should be noted that art handling in a for profit competitive business like art transportation is quite different from the job of a preparator or art handler in a museum or gallery setting. There is a tremendous emphasis on dealing with the public and many services of necessity are are performed with third parties looking on. Ever put a $5 million dollar painting into a crate with a room full of museum staffers looking on? Or install a painting on a 20 foot white wall in a living room overlooking the ocean with the owners of the artwork, gallery representative, art consultant, and artist all offering input and suggestions?

It takes a certain personality and sense of forward motion to get the job done both safely for the artworks and expeditiously enough to keep the company in business. Time counts, and the extra caution slow motion rules which are standard operating procedure in some institutional committee cultures simply don’t apply. Many otherwise talented art handlers can’t make the shift to the “for profit” culture or are fine working alone in a shop but not comfortable out in the field with onlookers checking their watches, asking questions, and sometimes second guessing methods and materials. Whatever their other qualifications, art handlers who are loners, can’t do paperwork, or who fail to develop a good “art side” manner with customers don’t last long.

Betsy Dorfman

Because every holiday for us is potentially a busman’s holiday — there is art everywhere  – it isn’t unusual for my husband and I to check into a hotel and immediately make ourselves suspicious to the staff. Without removing anything from the walls or touching the frames we nonetheless make ourselves conspicuous, craning to see how artworks in the common areas and in our room are attached to the walls. We can’t help it; this is how we are wired (pun intended). We’re always on the outlook for interesting solutions, and any new hardware or technologies that might be in play. Glamorous as it is to be mistaken for art thieves, our interest lies in how artworks are put up, now how we can take them down!

I should be clear that we are not looking to sell our services to these establishments. Most hotels and conference centers buy art in bulk and install in bulk, an entire floor or even the entire hotel at once. The vendors who do this type of installation typically do so under contract and frankly at a rate per piece which is below what we charge to install fine art. There are of course exceptions including boutique hotels, corporations, and law offices etc. who purchase and display truly fine art, and hire us to install it. But large hotel chains, not so much.  Nor does  our crew of installers with master’s degrees in art, some of whom teach at the college level, want to go to a hotel for four weeks and install lithographs of tulips and swans. Maybe in Hawaii. But even there, probably not. It’s a different culture and the demands of the workplace and the knowledge required in each case, as similar as they seem (putting up art) are actually quite different. But I digress.

So we have seen a lot of approaches to installing art in public places, some brilliant, some silly, most standard and unremarkable. But recently we ran into something entirely new: we entered our room and immediately saw that every painting was screwed to the wall with four or more shiny metal screws put right through the frames — and not tiny screws either. In some cases these were gilt frames. Expensive or not, most likely not, it was still jarring  and made us wonder if this hotel, a nice one, had for some reason a major problem with theft of southwestern themed amateur art. Or fear of earthquake perhaps? Something must have possessed them to go to this extreme of ruining the frames, not to mention the aesthetic senses of the onlooker, in favor of securing the art.   

Having explained our interest to the owner (this was a small hotel) he said, first, that we were the only guests ever to inquire — figures! And second, that theft was not the issue, or earthquake, but crookedness in another sense. The pictures, originally hung on wire, were always getting knocked off of kilter, and he was tired of paying staff and taking his own time to straighten them. Times ten artworks per room times however many rooms — adds up. So having had enough at some point, they simply nailed and/or screwed all the paintings to the walls, end of problem, done.  

Needless to say there are there are a number of less drastic possible solutions,  although perhaps none cheaper, which don’t ruin the frames and allow for removal or repositioning  with less trauma to plaster or drywall. We will discuss some of these approaches such as security mounts in an upcoming blog post. We certainly sympathize with the need for alignment — the world is pretty much divided into two groups, those who can’t be in a room with an askew painting without breaking into hives, or straightening the painting properly, and those who are fine with it or don’t notice. For the former, like the hotel owner, and who also clearly owns the building and so won’t catch hell from the landlord, this was an immediate and inexpensive fix which only disturbed, apparently, us. Those screws ! Right into the wood frames!  Pretty big screws ! After a couple of glasses of white wine out by the pool we managed to overcome our professional horror and enjoyed our stay. We slept without fear of anything coming down on us in an earthquake, except perhaps the walls themselves with those paintings of ponies and pink mesas everlastingly attached….

Betsy Dorfman

Just a follow-up to my review of Let the Right One In from a while back…

So the recent DVD release by Magnolia included faulty English subtitles. Unfortunately, those who missed the theatrical release would not notice that the dialogue was dumbed down and stripped of all character for the DVD. Gone was the dark humor and distinctive voices of each character. Some examples of the difference can be seen here.

But there’s a happy ending after all. In response to the blogic outcry, Magnolia films is now manufacturing DVDs with the original (theatrical) subtitles intact. To see which version you are holding, look on the back of the case. The new discs will actually say that the subtitles are the “theatrical” version.

Chris Barber